Host Family
Jiayi Fan
A host family is a family that volunteers to welcome students from different places and countries to stay with them during the exchange program period. Host families are mainly for students in secondary school and cultural exchange programs. The family receives a reasonable payment for hosting which includes meals, housing, utilities and Wi-Fi. It is the host families’ responsibility to supply a room, meals and a safe family environment for students to study and live. Usually host families consist of retired couples or family units.
Generally speaking, nearly all host families are more tolerant, open-minded, and understanding than international students’ anticipations. The most difficult things international students have to face are language barriers and nostalgia. If a host family is harmonious and hospitable enough, they can help international students with language and cultural adjustment. Also, they can relieve students’ homesickness in some sense. When I lived in Wellesley, Massachusetts, my host family was Christian. I went to Grace Chapel Church in Lexington with them every Sunday. There are Christmas narrative and monologue performances, desserts, Sunday schools, and congregations. The most interesting services I went to were at the Twelfth Baptist Church in Boston where we spent our Christmas Eve and New Year’s Eve there. Live music was perfect and people expressed their love, faith, and belief towards God directly.
Having a host family made me feel I was not alone in Wellesley as they were my good companions. The 7 p.m. dinner time is one important event every day, for not all people nowadays still have dinner together. Family members and international students gathered beside the table, prayed, had great food and answered questions after dinner. Questions varied from personal hobbies to goals and dreams. This small activity was to make people become familiar with each other. I made friends with other international students from Venezuela, Brazil, Japan, Korea, Saudi Arabia, and Kazakhstan. With my host family there and friends from all over the world, I knew there was a warm home right there waiting for me every time I was sitting in the commuter rail waiting to go back to Wellesley from Boston.
However, not all host families can give international students a feeling of being at home. Although each host family is well prepared to experience a new culture and give a new cultural experience to students, it is normal that there is a possibility that problems arise between students and host families. I have heard one Korean student who studied at Wellesley Middle School that had experienced an unhappy time with her host family. She liked to have oats and milk for breakfast. One day she found the box of oats was empty and told her host mom about this. Her host mom went into silence for three seconds and said, “Oats, are expensive.” That Korean student did not know what to do at that moment. She paid hundreds of dollars monthly to her host family which includes housing and meals, but she could not get to eat the food she liked. An Asian’s logic in this situation is to say “sorry” although she did not feel she was wrong. This kind of situation is common among problems between students and host families.
Therefore, most exchange programs allow for a switch. Sometimes a switch cannot solve the problem. Another similar condition happened to a Japanese student. She switched her host family in order to shorten the time commuting from home to school. The problem was that her agency did not tell her this new host family was a gay couple, an uncomfortable subject for her culture. She was so scared, but she did not dare to tell her parents in Japan. She wanted to overtake this situation herself without causing her parents to worry. In fact, her considerations can represent most international students’ thoughts: If a family sends their children to study abroad at a very young age, this means that family must make a hard decision to educate children to become competent individuals. Under this condition, the child grows up and matures so fast and the child does not want to complain to parents. Most international students announce good news to their families and try to avoid reporting bad things.
Studying abroad is a way with no way back. Once you choose to live in a new culture, you cannot regret and go back, or your friends and relatives will discriminate against you. People always admire international students’ cool photos posted online, but few people know this way is full of hardships and tears. Never giving up and insisting on working hard are the only choices which can return all expectations.
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